There’s this idea that’s been haunting me at work, when I’m relaxing at home, when I’m sleeping (or trying to sleep), and even I’m writing these words. And to exactly what that is, to those who are curious and eagerly wondering, it’s the thought of things not getting any better than how it is now. It’s the thought that my life here might not be elevated to a better status whether any time soon or further into the future. So that is what’s been wondering. Again, it’s stupid.
But I have to consider the possibility. After all, I am a foreigner in a nation with a major protectionist culture/mentality. Here’s the sad part: I will eventually have to pack up my bags and return with my tail between my legs if (and that’s a big IF) things don’t work out here. Which would be a royal shame since I have made significant efforts to build a new life here, and that I have made significant sacrifices, time-wise and money-wise. After all, with given a second chance like I have been given, why wouldn’t you?
But after a good long thought, I remember to not let that take control of me. Nor should it to anyone else in a similar position as me. I will continue to strive on despite these kinds of thoughts looming over me. That requires to remember the most important thing I person can think of. Hope.
Also, see Chapters 48 and 50.