'Once Upon a Time in Canada' Chapter 35.

I woke up last night to my mind racing. The disturbing thought ended as suddenly as it began. It was the only time where I had a thought like that on that kind of level. Nothing to get too worried about. Still, it’s a bit disconcerting to have that kind of thought running through your head, especially when you’re asleep to utter piece and silence.

What is it that’s on my mind you ask? I’m worried about my future here. If things don’t work out here, I’ll have to return home a failure. Logically, I shouldn’t worry. But the thought has been on my mind from time to time. A little bit of the thought won’t do any harm.

When I head out for work, I confess that it pops up every now and then before making my out to the snowy landscape to a day of annoying work. Yes, with each subsequent walk through the snow comes the inevitable thought, a sort of ritualistic act during the short but reluctant journey. It haunts me and I drown it out by putting on my headphones and just listen to music.

In other news, it’s low season at work, and I still haven’t realized of what I’ve gotten myself into. For starters, I need to realize how dead the CN Tower is during winter and how little I’m needed during this time. Also, I need to make another attempt to find a job, a better job in this case. Anyways, all that can be dealt with when I have the proper time. I had a full shift today. After I only have a short shift, I’ll have a chance to sit down and do what I need to do. I’d better get started.

Also, see Chapters 34 and 36.