Film Review: "Eternals" (2021).

"The end was just the beginning" in Eternals. This epic superhero film directed by Chloé Zhao, written by Zhao, Patrick Burleigh, Ryan Firpo, and Kaz Firpo, based on the Marvel Comics characters of the same name created by Jack Kirby, and produced by Marvel Studios. It is the 26th film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU). Following the events of Avengers: Endgame, an unexpected tragedy forces them out of the shadows to reunite against mankind's most ancient enemy, the Deviants.

In April 2018, Marvel Studios president Kevin Feige said that the studio was actively developing a film based on the Marvel Comics characters created by Kirby, to release as part of their Phase Four slate of films. In May, Marvel set Ryan and Kaz Firpo to pen the script, with their outline including a love story between the characters Sersi and Ikaris. In June, Feige said Marvel was interested in exploring the "ancient aliens kind of sci-fi trope" by having the Eternals be the inspiration for myths and legends throughout the history of the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU). Marvel's director search for Eternals narrowed to a shortlist that included Nicole Kassell, Travis Knight, and Cristina Gallego & Ciro Guerra before Zhao was hired to her the film in September. In February 2019, Feige reiterated that Marvel was interested in the Eternals due to Kirby's epic, century-spanning story, with the film version spanning seven-thousand years and exploring humanity's place in the cosmos. By July, Gemma Chan, Richard Madden, Kumail Nanjiani, Lia McHugh, Brian Tyree Henry, Lauren Ridloff, Barry Keoghan, Don Lee, Kit Harington, Salma Hayek, Angelina Jolie, and Bill Skarsgård were cast. Charlie Hunnam, Alexander Skarsgård, Armie Hammer and Sam Heughan were considered before Madden was cast. Keanu Reeves, Luke Evans, Rami Malek and Ian McShane were considered before Keoghan was cast. Ana de Armas, Eiza González, Gina Rodriguez and Naomi Scott were considered before Hayek was cast. At the same time, principal photography commenced and wrapped in early February 2020. Filming took place at Pinewood Studios in Buckinghamshire, as well as Oxford and London, England and the Canary Islands under the working title Sack Lunch. The film was originally set for a November 6, 2020, before it was shifted to February 12, 2021, and then to the November 2021 date, due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

The film stars Chan, Madden, Nanjiani, McHugh, Henry, Ridloff, Keoghan, Lee, Harington, Hayek, Jolie, and Skarsgård. Neither one of the cast, all of them fine actors, can prevail against the relentless scale and movement of the production.

The film is something quite rare in the comic-book and MCU-dominated pop culture landscape - an unbelievable disaster. The film is the equivalent of a forced near three-hour walking tour of a wealthy Hollywood's elitist's living room. It fails so completely that you might suspect Zhao and Feige sold their souls to the devil to obtain the success of The Avengers films and the Devil has just come around to collect.

Simon says Eternals receives:

Also, see my reviews for Nomadland and Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings.