Film Review: "Transformers: The Last Knight" (2017).

"They have been here forever." This time it's Transformers: The Last Knight. This science fiction action film based on the toy line of the same name created by Hasbro. It is the fifth installment of the live-action Transformers film series and a sequel to 2014's Transformers: Age of Extinction. The film is once again directed by Michael Bay, with a ghastly script written by Art Marcum, Matt Holloway and Ken Nolan. The Last Knight once again destroys the core myths of the Transformers franchise, and redefines what it means to be a cinematic abomination. Once again, humans and Transformers are at war, Optimus Prime is gone. The key to saving our future lies buried in the secrets of the past, in the hidden history of Transformers on Earth. Saving our world falls upon the shoulders of a ridiculous alliance: a hopeless American inventor; a bizarre English Lord; and an unrealistically attractive Oxford Professor.

After the release of Age of Extinction, in March 2015, it was reported that Paramount Pictures was in talks with Oscar winner Akiva Goldsman to pitch new ideas for the Transformers franchise's future installments. Wanting to have a cinematic universe of their own similar to Marvel's/Disney's Marvel Cinematic Universe, thus a writers' room was set up to plan the franchise's future beyond the main film series. Goldsman became the head of the future projects and would work with Bay, Steven Spielberg, and Lorenzo di Bonaventura. In July 2015, Goldsman and Jeff Pinkner were announced as the film's screenwriters. However, in November, due to Goldsman and Pinkner's other commitments, Paramount began to negotiate with Art Marcum, Matt Holloway and Ken Nolan to write the film. Despite this, Bay had decided not to direct any future Transformers films. But in January 2016, in an interview with Rolling Stone, he confirmed that he would return to direct the fifth film, and that it would be his last Transformers film. Back in December 2014, Mark Wahlberg confirmed that he would return for the sequel, and like Bay, confirmed that this will be his last in the franchise. In May 2016, it was confirmed that Josh Duhamel would return for the film. In September 2016, Stanley Tucci confirmed his return. In October 2016, Bay announced that John Turturro would return. By late 2016, the cast was rounded out with actors such as; Anthony Hopkins, Laura Haddock, Isabela Moner, Santiago Cabrera, Peter Cullen, John Goodman, Ken Watanabe, John DiMaggio, Omar Sy, Frank Welker, Tom Kenny, Steve Buscemi and Gemma Chan. With a budget of $260 million, Principal photography began in May 2016. Locations included Cuba, Arizona, Michigan, Illinois, Scotland, Wales and England. Filming wrapped in December 2016. Like the previous instalment, the film was struck by controversy. During filming in England, Blenheim Palace was decorated as a Nazi headquarters for the World War II scenes. This caused controversy among British war veterans, who protested that the palace was the former residence of war hero Winston Churchill, and didn't deserve such treatment; Bay explained that this was part of the film, and Churchill's grandson Sir Nicholas Soames lambasted the British press for sensationalizing a mere film scene.

The performances given by the stellar cast once again have contributed nothing to Bay's 2 hours and 30 minute film of him masturbating and ejaculating to explosions, car chases and adolescent-looking female stock characters like a fourteen year old boy discovering how to.

With Transformers: The Last Knight, nothing is in disguise. Fans of the same old Hollywood/Michael Bay claptrap will find mentally-impaired satisfaction. The same can not be said for others who had enough of Bay's abhorrent antics for the past decade.

Simon says Transformers: The Last Knight receives:

Also, see my reviews for 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi and Transformers: Age of Extinction.