'Once Upon a Time in Canada' Chapter 84.

After almost two years here, I didn’t get to have the outcome that I would have liked. Because my working holiday visa is expiring soon, and because I was too late in extending it, I have until June 5th to be out of the country. So today was not a good day to say the least. I had to resign from my job at Sporting Life and be unemployed again. But that’s not what really bothered me. Because I couldn’t find a work visa or extend my current visa in time, I came face-to-face with one of my worst nightmares. And that, my dear readers, is the reality that I have to return to New Zealand without achieving what I set out to achieve. Holy hell, I’m hurting real bad inside!

Holy shit, this is terrible! Holy shit! Holy shit! Okay calm down. Calm down. I made a life for myself; I made a ton of friends, and actually built some character while I was here. By objective standards, it hasn’t been a complete failure. I should be happy for the fact that I got have this wonderful experience for this long and I got to grow and develop as a person. I am proud of that fact, but I honestly felt I had a chance to start my career here; but I was mistaken. Toronto just doesn’t have the power as Hollywood does. Why would they? It now makes sense. The days of David Cronenberg and his contemporaries defining the Canadian film landscape are long gone, as I should have realized from the very beginning. And, since then, Canadian cinema has slowly lost its power and voice, and couldn’t compete with Hollywood, sorry to say. This is the honest truth. I don’t have to sugarcoat it or anything. I’m just going to say it straight.

I only have about a month left. I’ll get this amount of time to sort out my affairs. It’s strange to think that I only got this amount of time to do what I need to do before I return home. The first thing is figure out what to keep and what to discard, but it’ll be no easy task. And then there’s who are the people I am going to spend time for one last time.

Also, see Chapters 83 and 85.